Compliments of Craig Cole and Auto Guide

North Americans love trucks. We adore them more than fast food, football games and country music. They’re like 4,000-pound hamburgers made with two all-freedom patties, liberty sauce, Willie Nelson, sparklers and Old Glory, sprinkled with bacon bits and built on a sesame-seed frame. Drivers lust after these utility-focused rigs like hungry children crave chicken nuggets; month after month, year after year, we just can’t get enough of ‘em!

America is a land full of opportunity. We do things, build stuff and go places; trucks are central to the way we live. And let’s be honest, the founding fathers Tom Jefferson, Benny Franklin and George “the big-man” Washington would have totally rolled in a GMC Denali if gasoline had been invented in 1776. Now that’s a Declaration of Independence from crappy small cars. Grab your cowboy hat and throw on some work boots, here are the top 10 Reasons to own a truck.

 

With wide-open beds trucks can haul just about anything, from two-by-fours to horse manure, slag sand to potted plants. The things you can load in the back of a pickup are damn-near endless. These vehicles are purpose built for heavy hauling and that’s what they excel at. Even compact trucks can work like a sled dog in Alaska. As classical Greek scientist Archimedes once said “give me a pickup strong enough and a full tank of fuel and I shall move the world!”

 

#2 Impressive Towing Ability

Ok, so trucks are built for hauling heavy loads; drivers can literally load them with a ton of s**t. Is that still not enough justification to own one? Well, not only are these vehicles mechanized pack mules but they’re also engineered to drag heavy loads. Like elephants hauling timber out of the rainforests of Thailand, domesticated, light-duty pickups are purpose-built for pulling. Let’s be honest, you’re not going to hook a horse trailer up to the back bumper of a Honda Odyssey, not unless you’re a Shetland Pony breeder. Whether it’s a fishing boat, a parade float or a flatbed of Sally Struthers impersonators these vehicles can tow immense loads. Even so-called “half-ton trucks” can haul like a freight train.

 

#3 Go-Anywhere Drivability

Doc Brown from Back to the Future said it best, “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” A flying DeLorean is hard to top, but trucks have nearly the same go-anywhere capability, as long as “anywhere” isn’t in a different time in which case the stainless-steel sports car wins. With full-frame construction and available four-wheel drive, pickups are built to go where others stop. Drop the transfer case in four-low and buckle up because about the only thing that can impede one of these vehicles is Mount Everest.

 

#4 Rugged Sensibility

True trucks are built on sturdy, ladder-style frames. The body is separate from the chassis, just the way God intended. This makes them tough; it’s part of the reason they can handle off roading with ease and carry such heavy loads. Plus, do you remember what vehicle Bill Paxton drove in the tornado-themed movie Twister? A pickup truck, of course! A mostly shiny-red Dodge Ram 1500, back when Dodge still made trucks. He wasn’t mincing about in Honda del Sol or a BMW 3 Series wagon, no. To chase storms he chose a truck. What else could stand up to flying cows and Helen Hunt? If a pickup is good enough for a B-list celebrity in a mediocre film it should be good enough for you.

 

#5 High Riding Sensibility

Like the crow’s nest on a pirate ship, trucks offer commanding views. Drivers sit up high and can survey the road around them to keep a look out for treasure galleons or good deals on gas-station burritos. The taller stance makes it easy to see over surrounding vehicles. Why is traffic stopped? If you’re driving a Porsche 911 there’s no hope of seeing the grizzly accident scene/escaped wild animal/dumpster fire that’s ahead. In a four-by-four pickup you have a front-row seat. Don’t let some dinky Toyota Y-Arrrrh-is block your view of the road ahead, step up to a pickup.

 

#6 Interior Flexibility

Thanks to their increasing popularity over the last decade or so, trucks have transformed from blue-collar work vehicles to high-riding family haulers. With the advent of extended- and crew-cab bodies the typical pickup is every bit as comfortable as a Nissan Altima, but orders of magnitude more functional. Bring the kids, load the dog and even leave a spot for your ornery spouse; with a pickup you can bring it all and still tow a trailer and haul brick pavers.

 

#7 Impressive Customizability

Do you want a Chevy Malibu? Of course not, but if you’re forced to park one in your driveway there’s not a lot of choice. Just two engines are offered (excluding the eAssist model) and one transmission. If you want a manual gearbox you’re going to have to look elsewhere. Might we suggest the Camaro ZL1? Compare the Malibu to Chevrolet’s truck offering, the Silverado. What kind of cab do you want? There are three options. Beyond that two bed length and drivetrain configurations are available, plus GM offers three different engines. There are enough choices to make even the most decisive person weep, and that’s just the light-duty model

 

#8 Surprising Affordability

Like buying in bulk, trucks are usually strong values; they’re practically cheaper by the pound. Oftentimes pickups are some of the most discounted vehicles on dealer lots. Right now for instance Ford is putting up to $4,000 in the beds of some F-150 models to move the metal. That’s a huge deal, especially in today’s post-recession market.

 

#9 Rough-and-Tumble Vanity

Not only can their prices be attractive but trucks also have less quantifiable virtues that make them popular choices. People love their rugged good looks and how it makes them appear behind the wheel. Other than his trusty steed, what would the Marlboro Man drive? Don’t even think about a Subaru…